Book Review – “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”

This book has been sitting in my bookshelf for months – one of those that I knew I “should” read, one that was praised by colleagues. I couldn’t seem to get past what seemed to be a trite title.  I’m so glad I did. 

In this book, author Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. brings together so many good points.  Although some chapters and topics seem basic, this easy read is a great refresher for some and a great introduction for others.  Published in 1987, this book is as appropriate for readers today as if it were written in 2007 (expect for an occasional outdated reference, such as the author talking about her recent purchase of a word processor). 

Throughout the book, readers not only learn to acknowledge fear as a powerful force in our lives, but also that fear is often disguised as other emotions.   

Key Points:

• Fear makes us believe that we will never have enough of the things that we hold fear around (money, love, success, etc.).  It is fear that is holding us back from actually having what we want.
• Although fear can be a good thing (often protecting us from physical harm) it also prevents us from moving into new territory and fully experiencing life.
• Fear is a fact of life versus a barrier to success. Even people we most admire in our lives have fear!
• Fear keeps us in a position of pain.  Move that thinking to a position of power!  From “I hope” something will happen to “I know” it will happen. 
• The basis of fear is that you’re not going to be able to handle a particular situation.  Guess what – you will.
• Taking responsibility for our own lives is part of overcoming fear.  Understand that whether you want it or not, your life is yours.  Chapter Four provides valuable insight on how to understand what self-responsibility truly is.

 Although the book covers what seems to be a singular topic, readers will finish the book with an enlightened perspective on fear, having a better understanding of the depth of the emotion, as well as its likely hold on areas of their lives.   

Pick up this quick read and get a new perspective on what you may learn to be your own fears –emotions you may not have been identifying them as fears at all.

Book Review – “The Art of Possibility”

The Art of Possibility – Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander 

It feels like so many books have similar themes that are warmed over for publication under a “new” title, so I must admit that cynicism tempers my enthusiasm to pick up some leadership books.“The Art of Possibility” has renewed my faith in the leadership/self-help genre.The book is authored by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander; Roz is a family therapist and coach and Ben is conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra.This husband/wife team has blended their professions into a beautiful harmony between art and science, with wonderful lessons for readers.12 practices journey“The Art of Possibility” is a journey through 12 practices, focusing on the assumptions we carry with us and impose on the world around us.As the authors explain each of the 12 practices, their words of wisdom are interwoven with personal stories to beautifully illustrate each one, providing the reader with real-life application of each of the practices.The 12 practices build to a crescendo as the book progresses, with each practice having its own place in the melody. The practices include:·         It’s all invented — The infamous nine-dot puzzle reminds the reader that we are the ones who put restrictions on ourselves. ·         Giving an A — How would it look if, rather than beginning as a “C” student and needing to earn an “A”, we all began as “A” students and raised our expectations of ourselves to that level each day?·         Being a contribution — Live your life as someone who makes a difference.·         Leading from any chair — How much leadership are you wiling to grant to others in your organization? How can others help lead your organization to greatness?·         Rule Number 6, plain and simple — Don’t take yourself so seriously. There are no other rules.·         The way things are — Sometimes things just are as they are. The most beautiful thing about this book is its eloquent description of coaching principles that can be understood by anybody. I felt myself thinking “right on” in each chapter.Pick up this book and begin living your “Art of Possibility” now — you won’t regret it.

Small Business Marketing – A Parallel for Life

I recently attended a meeting of a local networking group.  The group was established a few months ago, and this was my first visit. 

The group was small – eight people including myself – and the topic was marketing.  What a perfect meeting to attend!  I was certain my 13+ years of media and marketing experience would come in handy!  As the meeting progressed, for me it evolved into a study on human behavior.

Several members had opinions and theories about how to market.  The ideas were great – many of which I was in support of.  The energy was coursing through the room – it was great to experience first-hand feedback from business owners on what works and what doesn’t.

As the meeting progressed, I realized we weren’t just talking about marketing but life in general. Two things that struck me:

1. We all have opinions on what other people should do, but aren’t as clear on what we should do.  Several business owners had marketing suggestions for others in the group, but mentioned that it is difficult for them to come up with marketing ideas for themselves. How does that translate into your life? Are you the first to provide direction to others, but aren’t clear about your own situation?
2. We don’t have a plan.  I only heard one business owner bring up setting a plan and sticking to it (he is a financial advisor, so I would expect nothing less). The others didn’t. How do you know where you’re going with out a plan? Goals?  Are you going through life without a plan/vision/goal?

The first thing I recommend to any client – marketing, coaching or other – is to have a plan.  Yes, plans evolve as life’s circumstances come our way.  But, without a plan, how do you know where you’re going – or if you’ve arrived?

And, kudos to my clients for working with a professional who can provide them with that outside perspective!  It’s hard to see clearly when you’re inside the glass.  Find somebody to help you – a coach, consultant or other professional – who will help you see things clearly.  You’ll be amazed at how far you can go. 

Things I Like…

I’ve come across a couple resources recently I enjoy – things that make my business and personal lives easier, and make me feel better about how I’m investing my time and money:

www.levenger.com (thanks to my friend Carrie Dellinger for turning me on to this!)
www.diyplanner.com (thanks again to Carrie)
www.thehungersite.com (and its associated groups)
www.melaleuca.com

What are some things you like?  Share them here.

New Year’s “Resolutions”?

How many of you hate the phrase New Year’s Resolutions?  Show of hands? (I’m raising mine!).

The whole concept sets us up for failure. Every year we set resolutions – many times it’s the same one year after year – the one we never seem to accomplish (show of hands?).

This year, think of those as goals – or moving in a new direction.  The best way to achieve any goal is with consistent, persistent effort. 

Instead of deciding on January 1 that you want to lose 10 pounds this year, or change careers, or whatever your goal may be, think instead of one step you can make toward that goal.  You have 365 days before you set your next goal – don’t worry about making huge changes right away. In fact, for many of us, January is the most difficult time of year to make change, so do what you can right now to get the ball rolling.

Rather than setting yourself up for failure, set yourself up for success! What is one thing you can do today?

• Want to lose weight?  Go for a walk – it doesn’t have to be a 5-mile run.
• Want to change careers?  Put together a list of your dream job.
• Want to spend more time volunteering?  Look for an organization that matches your passion in life – support what you love and it’s a pleasure.

Baby steps are still steps, as long as you’re moving forward. The key to real, positive change is persisitent, consistent effort – small steps toward one larger goal.

Surround yourself with like minded people – those who also want to achieve a goal in 2008.  Or, work with a coach – somebody who will help you achieve those goals.  Write a plan – what are you going to do today?  Tomorrow? Where would you like to be in a week? A month?

You can do it – I know you can.  Believe in yourself, set yourself up for success. And focus on how great you’ll feel when you finally do achieve that goal. 

How are you achieving your goals?  Share your comments here.

As the year winds down…

What a year!  This is historically a crazy time of year for me.  I don’t typically have the luxury of really enjoying the holidays, as I am scrambling to keep up with work.  Marketing clients, coaching clients, 2008 planning is all underway, and the holidays seem to slip right by (hmm…..maybe that’s why I enjoy Thanksgiving so much, but I digress….).

 I just came across an article from a fellow coach encouraging the reader to reflect on the past year. The questions she poses are:

• What are three new experiences you had this year?
• What are three accomplishments you feel proud of this year?
• What are three challenges you overcame this year?
• What are three things you feel grateful for this year?

As I read the questions, something struck me.  As we are thinking about the New Year, we often don’t take time to honor the Old Year – the one we’re leaving, the one we lived and savored, aged through and played through. 

Take a few minutes to consider these questions.  Jot a few notes. Or, post your comments on my blog – danazurbuchen.wordpress.com.  When we take time to reflect, we all have several things to appreciate.  Even on our worst days. 

Why not the other way around?

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I was listening to Good Morning America. And, as with most mornings, I was running through the day’s events, pulling together materials for meetings, and trying to listen to the day’s news.  As I was catching the end of the weather, I heard a brief chat about an interesting organization – Nontraditional Employment for Women (www.new-nyc.org).

NEW was founded in 1978 via a Department of Labor initiative with the training women for skilled jobs in construction and other blue-collar industries.  As I was listening to this, my first thought was “what a great program! More women should have the opportunity to work in fields traditionally dominated by men.”  I was really feeling good about the whole thing. 

As this bounced around in my head further, I had a second thought. It occurred to me that I’ve never heard of a similar organization for men.  For example, if men want to enter the traditionally female-dominated industries of nursing, education or child care, there aren’t special training programs specifially for men.

Don’t mistake my comment – I’m not saying men and women shouldn’t have equal access to opportunites.  In fact, that’s just my point. Why is there a training program specifically for women?  It is great that the program is there to encourage women to enter this area of the workforce. But, isn’t is sad that they aren’t welcomed with open arms to begin with?  What does it say about our society that there are still barriers to women who want to follow these “nontraditional” career paths? 

 It’s been nearly 90 years since women were given right to vote. And women were huge contributors in the success of World War II when the government focused the war effort on women, luring them into the workforce.  How did we end up back here? 

Virgin Voyage

Yes, it’s a blog.  That “thing” that I have resisted and been mildly afraid of. BUT, here I am – apparently moving into the Technology age! 

Strangely enough, I am glad to have the opportunity to have a blog, for two reasons:

1. To keep my clients and friends updated on developments in my areas of expertise (coaching, marketing, media and events).
2. To give you a place to discuss these topics with people of like minds.  So often we are so busy with our day-to-day tasks, it gives each of you an opportunity to connect with others in our world.

Who else has “blog phobia”?  Talk amongst yourselves……